I've found Jesus.

As it turns out, he was there all along.

I wasn't raised right.

My childhood family life was abusive to say the least.

I was over-protected by my mother. I wasn't even allowed to pick my own clothes until I was thirteetn.

This was Mommie Dearest kind of stuff.

Mother forced me, painfully shy, to sing in the church choir.

She then told me the pastors hit on her all the time and she didn't want to go back.

That was the end of that.

She both taught me to be a Christian, then told me that Christianity is "crowd control".

I was a complete heathen. And I thought it was okay to say I'm "agnostic" and still be a "good person" worthy enough to make it to the pearly white gates of heaven, based on that.

Now, in my opinion, "agnostic" is in fact "atheist".

Period.

I found God and began my relationship with Jesus a few years ago, and I will never look back.

In my life, I've never realized the power of prayer as well as the incredible support of the Church and its members until I became one. There are so many churches in small towns where I've had to live that are so judgmental, it's insane. That alone was a huge reason for me, never going to church. Side-note; you don't need to attend church to have a relationship with God.

Judgemental churches are the main reason so many American's sleep in on Sunday.

Each and every time that someone has tried to push their beliefs on me, it has pushed me further away. I am stubborn and won't be told what I should do, ever. I blame my childhood for my defiance.

I needed to find Jesus by myself. I needed to fall in love with Jesus by myself. And I thank God that I did.

There are those who will try and guilt you, and / or push their beliefs on you. For me, that has annoyed me further away from Jesus. Folks that try and push their beliefs seem to really feel they have the right to tell you what to do and how to live, are probably trying to be on a crash course in hopes of going to heaven. They want heaven-points as a disciple.

So many have the right message. As a lifelong marketer I feel I have the right to emphasize a simple and well deserved ideali: "It's not what you say, but how you say it".

Shaming and passing guilt just will not work.

The title of this blog is "I've found Jesus" which is all about me. Please take what you will from my angle. No matter the situation, I've got this, through Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior.

I used alcohol to cope with my life. Like many othes, I shouldn't be alive. Trusting in JESUS not only helps me cope, but lifts me UP.

Finally, after several years of judgmental small-town churches being my only option, I've found an amazing church~! There ARE amazing congregations out there. They are filled with love and support. I get goosebumps just walking in the door. And I look forward to the next service all week!

ALL Glory be to God.